You Might Be Too Old For That

Remember Jeff Foxworthy ‘s redneck jokes?  Well, his jokes popped in my mind when I spotted a walking fashion disaster at Forever 21 this fall.  Instead of “You Might be a Redneck“, this piece is lovingly titled “You Might be Too Old for That.”

You may think I train my eye to spot walking fashion disasters all the time.  On the contrary, I try to keep a positive mindset most of the time and turn a blind eye when necessary.  When I see a fashion misstep, I think to myself “How could I improve that?”  However, the head-to-toe disaster in Forever 21 was more than I had observed in a very long time, and I felt compelled to share it with you.

I realize I must admit I was shopping in Forever 21, a store whose merchandise is often geared towards young women half my age.  Please cut the pregnant lady some slack.  I was desperately seeking a few stretchy skirts or pants that would fit my expanding waistline and wouldn’t break my piggybank.  Success!  But that’s a piece for another day.

In no particular order are the fashion breakdowns occurring at the Forever 21 checkout counter by a woman well past middle-aged.

If the majority of your personal clothing shopping is done at the same store where your granddaughter spends her allowance… YOU MIGHT BE TOO OLD FOR THAT.

If your socks involve a fold-down option and remind you of the ones you wore in the Little Miss Sunshine pageant when you were five years old… YOU MIGHT BE TOO OLD FOR THAT.

If your short multi-tiered black lace skirt is reminiscent of the ones Madonna wore in her Borderline days, and you owned (or could have owned) her first album… YOU MIGHT BE TOO OLD FOR THAT.

If your legs can’t carry off the skirt and you decide it is best to pair it with black biking shorts because they remind you of a Jane Fonda workout video circa 1982… YOU MIGHT BE TOO OLD FOR THAT.

If your shoes are the same ones used in jazz class at your local dance studio, and the last time you actually took a jazz class was 30 years ago… YOU MIGHT BE TOO OLD FOR THAT.

And finally…

If your accompanying hair and makeup pay homage to Dee Snider, lead singer of Twisted Sister, and you were in the prime of your youth (or older) during Twister Sister’s heyday… YOU MIGHT BE TOO OLD FOR THAT.

Joking aside, the poor lady I spotted must have felt great about her style at one time in her life, a very long time ago.  Sometimes we make the mistake of holding onto a style that worked for us 10, 20, or 30+ years ago because we think that is the best way to remain looking youthful.  WRONG.  Holding onto a dated style is actually the quickest way to point out just how old you really are!  To look your best, dress in a way that flatters your current body shape and is in step with your age bracket (or thereabouts) and modern fashions.  When you do, heads will turn your way for all the right reasons!

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